Nice concept - everyone knows that horoscopes are completely made-up. So why not just use this entirely reliable and always funny Horoscope Generator
. Here is mine:Gemini: Keep an eye out - your favourite 80's pop singer's daughter will be charged with homocide this morning but don't fret your day will take a funny twist this afternoon as you find out that your mail man has found true love with your mother. Your lucky colour is beige your lucky number is 3.14159265358979323846 keep an eye on a one-armed man and beware a small pot of crab paste.
Blimey - that is my lucky number!